I have not written a testimony for weeks. It’s just that, I didn’t know how to write or to express what God wanted me to say. Or, perhaps, I was fighting against the challenges that tried to dump my faith. With this, I would like to share my experiences when I was in a spiritual battle and how Christ won in my life despite everything.
I am a Christian for three years. I’m just 16 and, like others at this age, I am already experiencing dejections as a Christian.
Recently, I have been depressed by persecutions from myself and from other people. I hated myself because, as a servant of God, I couldn’t accept why I still mistook. I thought I didn’t deserve the responsibility that God has bestowed upon me because I was a sinner. At home, everybody says I am boastful and selfish. They even asked me how come I still went to church although I could also have gone wrong and sometimes, did not manifest what the Word of God says; everybody’s eyes are in me. They are observing my every move and every time I have mistaken, they dumped me again. Sometimes, I wonder how come I am wrong again even though I just do the right thing. I couldn’t really understand why they always mock my spiritual life. They we’re always challenging me as if they don’t want to believe nor want me to live in Christ.
Sometimes, these weaken me. Sometimes, I ask God why they always see me as so bad. Am I not just a human who is imperfect, too? Why are they always questioning my faith instead of guiding me as I serve Christ? I thought when I submit myself fully to the obligations that God called me for, everybody would support me and be happy for me. Sometimes, I felt that they’re right that it is better for me to leave my ministry in the church. Sometimes, I felt so useless and so much ashamed to talk to God. Sometimes, I felt like giving up.
Nevertheless, God is so good that He made realize how a disciple strives for Him along every trial and difficulty.
One night, I cried all my sorrows to God as he says, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). I read the Bible, I prayed. Then, He answered me. This persecution is both a challenge and a reminder to my obedience to the Lord. I realized that obeying God is really hard but essential. It is hard because of our nature as humans but, thank God because He lets us to call Him for help. We cannot, indeed, manage our lives by ourselves alone (Mark 10:27 - Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God). We need our creator. Yes, sometimes, we commit mistakes especially if one is still a youth. But, that is the reason why we must always study the Word of God and pray to Him for corrections. We should not be hopeless if we cannot control ourselves because God helps and He is the only one who can change us. Let us also don’t forget to pray that He will help us obey Him at all times.
Now, when it comes to persecutions, it is just normal for a real servant of God. Every disciple will really experience it. In Matthew 5:10-12, it says, “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” If one is persecuted then, he must be happy because God really sees him as His child. This is also a trial for us to remain firm in faith. Besides, God will never leave nor forsake us (Heb. 13:5).
Furthermore, to share the word of God, we need to experience a lot of challenges that will make us strong and trained enough to lead the people to salvation. I Corinthians 9:22 says, “To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.”
My brethren in Christ, let us remain firm and do not be dismayed by the opinion of others. But, sometimes, these criticisms have something to say. Let us check ourselves if we are not anymore living through the Word, then, pray to God that He would always guide and mold us towards the right path. I Corinthians 9:14 says,” In the same way, the Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should receive their living from the gospel.” We need to live by the Word, let us always be reminded by this. Everybody looks up to us because we are God’s people and we should serve as models. We need to prove to the world that we have a God that we live with.
Today, I learn to understand those people around me. Maybe, I just need to prove to them that there is a real God and He is with me. I realized what these things tell me- that my behavior really counts as a disciple. I have to stand by the grace of the Lord to lead my loved ones towards the salvation. I need to strive for perfection that is impossible with man but possible with God.
I know, it is difficult to serve God while being persecuted. Yet, this is the sacrifice essential to evangelism. We should not feel sad, however, because Jesus had already experienced all these trials. It was even harder in His part inasmuch as He had to die on the cross just to pay our sins. At the end, He won and, as a believer of Jesus, I also want to share the same victory. This is why, I strive to share and live the Good News like other disciples do. Eventually, I believe, there is a great joy that awaits for those who persevere.
1 Corinthians 9:23-26(New International Version © 2010)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=I%20corinthians%209:23-26&version=NIV
23 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. 24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.
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