As a Filipina, I am fond of watching telenovelas and films that are heavily dramatic. Most of the time, I encounter stories which are about hatred and reaching forgiveness. Before, I thought that these were so shallow and fictitious because I found it very impossible not to simply forgive. I had believed that forgiving was a very easy thing that everyone could do. And, to prolong animosity was something beyond human norms. Yet, I realized that I was wrong.
Last vacation, I had a quarrel against my aunt whom I owe a big part of my life including my education. It happened when she blamed me for something I did not do. Even before I explained everything, she had thrown bad words to me which made very mad. Because of my astonishment to those unexpected words, I did not give myself a chance to react. I just ran away, cried and slept, hoping that everything would be okay as soon as I wake up. However, everything seemed to be deeply rooted in my heart. I couldn’t accept that I was blamed amiss. I had this feeling of a need to be justified.
This quarrel was still prolonged for many days- the longest animosity-born agony I have ever carried. We lived in one roof, but it seemed that we’re not. I couldn’t ask God’s help because I couldn’t take out my hatred. But, God is so wonderful that He made me realize my mistake. I was wrong not because aunt was right, but because I boasted and disrespected her.
The night I talked to her for forgiveness was very unexpected. I was just watching TV when, suddenly, God directed my feet towards the room she is resting in. And, fortunately, she was still awake and I immediately mentioned, “Tita, sorry po.” It was a great thorn-removal in my heart; I wanted to cry because it was only at that moment that I fully understood that I was wrong. I originally planned to explain her everything to prove that I was right. Nevertheless, what God did was He made me humble myself before my aunt without further dignifying myself. Simply, I realized that she’s my aunt and I owe her a lot. The small misunderstanding is not enough for me to snub her and just forget all the things she has done for me. Besides, I have also gone wrong in many circumstances, but, despite those, my aunt still forgives me. Maybe, she reprimands me, but I understand that that is for my sake, too.
Moreover, problems can be solved by calm one-on-one conversation which I did not initiate to do. I really bragged not just before my aunt, but mostly to God whom I also forgot to respect. I boasted against God as I did not acknowledge His power in my life. I took my hatred alone and snubbed what God could do to pacify it. Truly, I was wrong in all of these.
I thank God because, although I did not beseech upon Him, He instigated to help me. Once again, He showed his wonderful love to me. I believe that God does not want me to bear a big hatred in my heart forever. I believe, He does not want me to suffer from my own foolishness. I believe, He cares for me, He loves me and He guides me each second of my breath. And, He would move in many mysterious ways just to seek me and soften my heart.
Today, I can say that forgiveness is the hardest thing that simple human can do. Perhaps, it is again our nature. However, I was also reminded by what the Lord says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Yes, I am already living in Christ and so, I must not adhere with my nature as a sinful human; I must be Christ-like (Eph. 4:22-24)
I was reminded by what the Scripture says, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Col. 3:13). I really felt ashamed for what I have done but I still stand by the grace of the Lord and hope for much changes that He will further do to me towards my own betterment.
I also remembered what Jesus had done for me and for all of us. He died for the forgiveness of our sins. I remembered how he pleaded “Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34).
Truly, we are blessed because our God is so kind and merciful that He can seek and forgive us every time we are lost. Yet, it doesn’t mean that we can go wrong whenever we want as Hebrew 10:26 says, “If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left,”. Furthermore, “No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.” (I John 3:6).
So, why should we always risk doing something which we know is not according to His will? If we are confused, anyway, let us always consult God and He will answer us for He is the only teacher who can teach us to succeed over whatever we find the hardest thing for us, as humans.
Ephesians 4:2-3 (New International Version)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ePH.%204:2-3&version=NIV
2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
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